Navigating Workplace Dynamics: When Your Manager Excludes You from Key Decisions

In the fast-paced world of engineering, collaboration and communication are crucial for success. However, what happens when you find yourself sidelined in strategic discussions that directly impact your role? This is a dilemma faced by many professionals, including an engineering team lead who recently reached out for advice on how to handle being excluded from key decisions by their Engineering Manager (EM).

The Situation at Hand

The team lead expressed their frustration over being shut out of important meetings and decision-making processes. With the business shifting focus away from the EM’s specialism towards front-end development—an area that falls squarely under the team lead’s expertise—the EM started proposing solutions to senior management without consulting the team lead. This not only undermines the lead’s authority but also places them in a challenging position where they might have to execute strategies they disagree with.

The lead’s concerns were compounded by the EM’s apparent ego challenges, leading to a toxic dynamic where authority was leveraged rather than shared. This situation raises critical questions about how to assert oneself in a professional environment without jeopardizing one’s performance review or coming across as merely complaining.

Seeking Solutions: A Proposed Plan

The team lead’s initial plan included:

1. Requesting to Attend Meetings: A straightforward approach to ask for inclusion in relevant strategic discussions.
2. Communicating with the Skip Manager: Seeking clarity on role responsibilities and addressing the exclusion directly.
3. Creating a Document of Alternatives: Preparing a well-structured document outlining disagreements with the EM’s proposals and suggesting alternative approaches.

While these steps show initiative, they also come with risks, particularly in how they are executed.

Navigating the Politics of the Workplace

1. Direct Communication with Your Manager

Many commenters emphasized the importance of having an open dialogue with the EM before escalating the issue. Engaging in a respectful and friendly conversation can often clear up misunderstandings. Here are some strategies to consider:

• Express Your Concerns: Approach your EM and share your feelings about being excluded from key meetings. Frame it as a desire to collaborate more effectively rather than a confrontation.

• Ask Questions: Inquire about the rationale behind their decisions and express your interest in being part of the decision-making process. It’s possible that the EM believes they are alleviating some of your burdens without realizing the negative impact it has.

• Stay Professional: Regardless of the circumstances, avoid badmouthing your manager. Focus on facts and engineering decisions rather than personal opinions.

2. Presenting Your Ideas Constructively

If you choose to share your prepared document of alternatives, ensure that it is presented in a factual and objective manner. Here are some tips:

• Stick to the Facts: Remove any emotional language or personal grievances. Focus on the technical merits of your proposed approaches.

• Be Open to Feedback: Present your suggestions as opportunities for discussion rather than definitive solutions. This shows that you value collaboration and are open to other perspectives.

3. Timing and Strategy

Before reaching out to the skip manager, exhaust all possibilities with your direct manager. Going over their head too soon can lead to conflict and may alienate you.

• Build a Case: If discussions do not yield results, document your conversations and the impacts of being excluded. This will help you articulate your position clearly if you eventually need to escalate.

• Evaluate the Impact: Consider the potential consequences of any decisions made without your input. If the EM’s approaches lead to significant issues, it may provide an opportunity to demonstrate your expertise and the need for your involvement.

Conclusion: Embracing the Challenge

Navigating workplace dynamics can be complex, especially when it comes to authority and communication. The key takeaway for anyone facing a similar situation is to engage in open, respectful dialogue with your manager first. Misunderstandings often lie at the root of communication breakdowns, and addressing issues directly can pave the way for better collaboration.

Ultimately, remember that your expertise is valuable. By asserting your need to be involved in important discussions and presenting your ideas constructively, you can help foster a more inclusive and effective working environment. While workplace politics can be daunting, approaching them with a strategic mindset can lead to positive outcomes for you and your team.

Related Posts

• EM is not the same as Tech Lead
• Should the EM develop as a technical generalist or specialist?
• Have you ever moved out (or considered to) from an EM role and came back?
• EM put on a coaching plan - looking for support
• EMs who are hands-on with the code versus people/process managers that get involved at the high level architecture level for the most part - where do you land?